Pregnant Turkey

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast.

Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!!

Getting to the bottom of it...

Ahem. Do you think anyone got around to telling her? Or did she already know?

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Today has been an extremely LONG day.

The girl has been crying all day long. Nothing has made her happy. Running a temperature. Running nose. Coughing.

The boy was yesterday. Today he was still coughing.

Keep your fingers crossed the baby doesn't get it. He's been the least demanding of the three for the past 48 hours.

Please ignore "read more" because I have nothing to say. I am absolutely brain-dead.

The Great Manipulator

Today my oldest just wasn't himself. He was mostly quiet except for the persistant coughing and sniffling all day long.

Then he decided he wanted something this afternoon that I wasn't willing to give him. We reached a compromise but he didn't fulfill his end of the bargain so I had to follow through with natural consequences.

Despite the rough day with both he and his sister whining and crying all day long (they took turns I swear!) I was patient and calm throughout all of it.

I was sooooo mommy-zen today.

Nothing was making me bend, nothing was making me blow, so the three year old decided to up the stakes.

And as I loaded the dishwasher and ignored his dramatics he pulled out his trump card.

"M-m-m-mom-m-my," sniff, sniff, tremble, quiver, crocodile tear rolling down the face. "M-m-mommy, you scaring me."

Yeah. Tell me he hasn't figured out the whole manipulation thing.

Push my buttons boy: beep beep boop boop boop beep beep beep beep Caaaaaching!

The love of my life.

Inspired by various posts, including this one from Christine, I find myself thinking back five years.

Our fifth anniversary passed this weekend. Originally I planned to do several posts dedicated to my husband. I got distracted. But thanks to Christine's lovely post today I remembered.

December 3, 1999

Only the soft light of a single flickering flame illuminated the room. Beside me, he softly stroked my back with a lazy sweep of his arm, causing my flesh to quiver with the rough skim of his slightly callused fingers. His soft, soothing voice drifted over me and my body hummed with the sound of his huskily uttered question. I buried my face deeper in his neck inhaling his musky scent as I savored the simultaneous sensations of both feeling and hearing his heart beating. Overwhelmed by the emotions his voice evoked in me, the tears welled up but I took a deep shaking breath and lifted my head, kissing him softly, tasting the smooth sweep of his lips for a long moment before peering down into his flame-graced features, then I uttered a single word.

Oh for crying out loud!

No really.

Mommy Blog Hate has spread to the New York Times.

What is so wrong about writing about yourself? Nothing, right? But apparently if you are a parent everything in the world is wrong with it.

Because I write about my life as a mom I am invading my children's privacy and they will resent me for this. Did you know that? Well thank you David Hochman for writing an article with NO SLANT AT ALL and thus educating me about why mommy blogs are so narcissistic.

I cannot even begin to formulate a coherent post about all the things in this article that irritate the f*ck out of me.

I guess that when my mother told her friends and coworkers about things that happened in my life and her's as a mom she was invading my privacy. Well hell, I think I will promptly start hating her for that, instead of understanding her natural concern and pride as a MOTHER.

Oh, and for heaven's sake, apparently I am not supposed to like reading other mommy blogs either. Okay everyone on my blogroll, if you are a mommy blog raise your hands so I can promptly delete you and stop reading you forever. Because why on earth would I be interested in your lives? Hmm, maybe because I RELATE TO YOU PEOPLE!

Well hit me in the head and call me an idiot, I guess I'm just so self-absorbed that someone better call Child Protective Services right away. HOW DARE I write about my life. And for the love of GOD, if I am going to write about my life I should at least leave out all of the mommy parts.

Oh go piss on yourself you self-righteous know-it-all prigs. Come spend ONE WEEK in my job and see how well you do and what forms of self-preservation you seek. I DARE YOU.

Happy Anniversary to Us!

Five years ago on this day I joined my life to the most wonderful, sweetest, cutest, funniest, most loving man on the face of the earth.

Boy am I lucky girl.

Of course then he sticks his foot in his mouth by bringing up stuff he shouldn't. Tsk tsk tsk.

The man never learns I tell ya.

Baby Boy

My sweet baby boy is three months old today.

He's such a sweet little man with his silly smiles and fully belly laughs.

He's trying to sit up and he loves to stand while I hold him and he bounces on his wobbly little legs.

Now if only he would hurry up and sleep through the night! Or at least only wake up once a night!

Medication and Therapy

So I had a doctor's appointment with my OBGYN today to follow up on my prescription from last Friday.

Then I had a Counselor's appointment.

I am so tired. It's total emotional exhaustion I know but it's a very cathartic feeling at the same time. I could so fall into bed and not wake up for 12 hours or more straight. But alas that will not happen, because I am the mother of very young children.

Onto another thought...

We have found a location for our business! This has been a major obstacle to cross as we try to find something that will accommodate the business, space for our kids to play safely out of the way while we work that was also along a decent traffic route and affordable. We think we found it!

WOO HOOO!

I'm gonna be a business woman, peeps! What an absolute trip, yo.

Swimming...

One of my little known and hardly ever talked about dreams has been to own a business.

A place to call my own. A place where no one bosses me and I make the decisions. Where I am not merely a peon.

That dream is very close to becoming reality. I will confess, that the dream has always included a bookstore though. My reality does not include that dreamed of bookstore, but rather another kind of shop all together. But what my reality does include is a myriad, nay, verily a labyrinth of details so mind boggling 'tis overwhelming.

My mind is swimming people. It's enough to make a person seriously reconsider what one is getting into. But what is life but for living? For taking chances? For seizing opportunity?

CARPE DIEM! I say, shaking my fist at the heavens.

Okay, well maybe not really.

Perhaps it seems cliche to wax on about seizing the day. But as Snoring Daddy often spouts, "Cliches become cliches because they are true so very often."

A Thanksgiving Prayer... Please Dear Lord grant me patience this holiday. Help me to bite my tongue and only allow pleasant thoughts and comments to escape my lips. Regardless of how much my nerves are tested let me serve as a positive example for my children. Heavenly Father bless me with strength of will and character to get through this trying day with no hard feelings, headaches or pains in the ass. Help me to appreciate the "differentness" of my inlaws and grant me gratitude and thankfullness for my husband and children's sake. And regardless of how cold the food is by the time it is finally served after all the arguements let us all be thankfull for the sustenance provided and the hands that worked to produce it and the family that is able to gather to appreciate it. And most of all, dear God, please help me to get through this holiday, knowing that my father is not here to celebrate it. Each holiday this year is harder than the last knowing that he has left this earth forever, let me find the strength to appreciate what and who I have to celebrate these days with me and my family. Please bless me and my family with a happy, pleasant, peaceful day that we can trully be thankfull for. In Jesus Christ's heavenly name I pray, Amen.

Reasons to be thankfull aka I love my children...

It's so hard to understand how things like this can happen. Some people will read this and think that woman should die a horrible painful death. After Andrea Yates committed her horrible crime in 2001 I heard many people at my place of work spouting hatred towards her. All I could think was something must have been terribly wrong, this kind of thing doesn't just happen unless someone is very very very ill.

Post partum depression, especially when combined with other factors indicating serious mental illness, is a frightening thing to be faced with. We watch from the outside and wonder after something horrifying like this happens how it could go so far and no one know or recognize or understand that it could go this far. Imagine how bad it must be inside this woman's head. All I can think is there but for the grace of God go I.

I know mental illness intimately. I lost a loved one to it. I've spent my adolescence and most of my adulthood afraid it would take possession of my mind as well. You cannot predict it. And you can only fight it with medication that may or may not work and if it does work it may lose its effectiveness over time. It's tabboo. It's frightening. It's darkness is judged by the ignorant and informed alike. I cannot muster hate against these women. I only have compassion for her and her family.

I am so lucky to have the support system that I have in my mother, my stepmother, my sisterinlaw/best friend, and most of all my husband. When it all gets overwhelming I know I can hand my children over to them in confidence and take a breather for myself and return refreshed with a clearer outlook and renewed patience. Just because I am Mommy doesn't mean I have to do it all and do it by myself.

I thank God for a healthy mind, a strong family support system, a loving supportive appreciative husband and my beautiful children. I love my children, I love my children, I love my children...

Last Friday we attended our son's preschool thanksgiving program. Our blue-eyed beauty was feeling left out of the picture taking process and I couldn't have that. The baby slept through the whole process--not that he missed much as his big brother REFUSED to participate. After all it was not his idea and he's not about to follow along with a bunch of nit-wits doing something so silly that clearly was not his brilliant idea. Besides he's more likely to draw attention to himself in the sea of cute preschoolers if he's standing there making strange faces than if he blended in and sang and danced with the rest!

Another pinup quiz!

You are Bettie Page

Girl next door with a wild streak
You're a famous beauty - with unique look
And the people like you are cultish about it


What Famous Pinup Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

What kind of PJs are you?

Another fun quiz at least for the girls. :)

The PJ's You Are Most Like: Underwear

You enjoy the simple things in life and aren't hard to please
You have an understated, easy sexyness that men love
And you're confident enough to pull it off - without being overbearing

What Kind of PJ's Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Random thoughts...

Great Ideas: I get the best ideas (ever!) in the middle of the night. Last night I was truly inspired about what to write in my blog. But of course after an additional two hours of sleep the idea has completely slipped my mind...it was that gggggreat!

What I am reading:

She's Gonna Blow! Real Help for Moms Dealing with Anger by Julie Ann Barnhill. I have been reading this one so long you would think I would have finished it already. Guess I am just to angry...ahem, I mean busy to get it done.

Blue Dahlia by Nora Roberts. The love of my life bought this for me the night after I had my C-section. He knows my deep and abiding love for romance novels and my special reverence for the mistress of the Romance, Nora Roberts. I suspect he got it mostly though to protect himself and the nurses from being eaten alive due to my claustrophobic hatred of hospitals and having to rely on others for help.

The Ultimate Weight Solution by Dr. Phil. I haven't gotten to the core of the material yet so I am not feeling too guilty for what I just ate. Hey it was chocolate and it was a gift from the MOPS moms after I had the baby.

Random rantings on the children: had some wonderful, moving and hilarious stuff here. But I lost it and I'm not retyping it. I'm running late for my OBGYN doctor's appointment. Here's hoping the exam doesn't include anything internal this time.

I've been found out...

And it has only taken a month and a half of my keeping this blog for my darling love to find out about it. It's not like I have been hiding it. I post to it often with him in the same room. I've repeatedly left my blog open on the desktop and there is a link to it on my links bar. Yet he's just now figuring it out. His powers of observation continuously amaze and thrill me.

But seriously with all love and affection, I am glad to have him aware and maybe even reading it. Who knows maybe it will give him a larger window of understanding into how I see things and my emotions. Not to say that I need this blog to communicate with my husband. That certainly is not the case. I am very blessed with an open, honest loving marriage based in friendship and the knowledge that we can always always be truthful with one another.

To be honest I am rarely able to express myself calmly in moments of extreme emotion unless its through writing. It's why I have always turned to journalling when I was at my most confused. Whether because I am sad or angry or euphorically happy, writing always helps me put things in perspective and find my grounding.

And speaking of writing and figuring things out... Today I started Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Solution. I am highly optimistic that through it's guidance and my journalling my progress I will be able to work through all the triggers that have sabotaged my weightloss and fitness goals my whole life. I know I can apply myself and lose weight. I just need the structure and guidance as well as the addressing of the emotional issues that have always halted my progress after initial successes.

I've set very specific goals that include more than just a weightloss number or size and put a timeline on them. As a result of what I have read and written so far I'm feeling positive and motivated to take action. I haven't even remotely been close to that place regarding my weight and a healthy lifestyle since my dad died last January.

It is really incredible how just when you are recovering from various major losses in your life and finally learning to cope the universe hits you with something so much more devistating than anything you have experienced before...and you realize that this time, no matter how much worse all of this may be, you don't have the luxury of losing yourself in the grief like you did before. You absolutely must pick yourself up and make yourself cope and move through the grief. Not only because you have a your young children to think of. After all they didn't ask for this or for mommy to lose her mind over it. And not just because you have your relationship with your husband to think of. He didn't bring this on himself and he deserves to have the woman he married, the mother of his children and his partner back. But because you have yourself to think of. And you deserve to be happy and to fulfill those roles you always wanted to fill.

It's hard to believe I am posting a picture of me like this but here I am. This was right after my C-section on October 28th with my beautiful baby boy--who by the way is keeping me up alot these days. He's teamed up with his older brother and sister to torment their father and I with lack of sleep. By the way, how is it possible that I look like I have lipstick on? Wish my lips looked like that all the time...

3 hours of sleep...

I haven't been posting because quite simply I am exhausted. I'm not sure when I will have the energy or motivation to form a coherent thought here. My mind literally feels numb. I guess thats what 3-4 hours of hit and miss sleep yet still having to deal with the household chores and the children's needs will do.

Ah, how I remember the days when I could pull an all nighter and still run full out the next day. My days of functioning on five hours of sleep or less are long past along with my 20s...to be truthful those days passed along about the time I hit 23. I feel about as old as I always thought 31 was when I was a kid. HA!