It's so hard to understand how things like this can happen. Some people will read this and think that woman should die a horrible painful death. After Andrea Yates committed her horrible crime in 2001 I heard many people at my place of work spouting hatred towards her. All I could think was something must have been terribly wrong, this kind of thing doesn't just happen unless someone is very very very ill.
Post partum depression, especially when combined with other factors indicating serious mental illness, is a frightening thing to be faced with. We watch from the outside and wonder after something horrifying like this happens how it could go so far and no one know or recognize or understand that it could go this far. Imagine how bad it must be inside this woman's head. All I can think is there but for the grace of God go I.
I know mental illness intimately. I lost a loved one to it. I've spent my adolescence and most of my adulthood afraid it would take possession of my mind as well. You cannot predict it. And you can only fight it with medication that may or may not work and if it does work it may lose its effectiveness over time. It's tabboo. It's frightening. It's darkness is judged by the ignorant and informed alike. I cannot muster hate against these women. I only have compassion for her and her family.
I am so lucky to have the support system that I have in my mother, my stepmother, my sisterinlaw/best friend, and most of all my husband. When it all gets overwhelming I know I can hand my children over to them in confidence and take a breather for myself and return refreshed with a clearer outlook and renewed patience. Just because I am Mommy doesn't mean I have to do it all and do it by myself.
I thank God for a healthy mind, a strong family support system, a loving supportive appreciative husband and my beautiful children. I love my children, I love my children, I love my children...